The Bright Orange Suit

It is said that genius is often accompanied with madness.

It is for this reason that on first impressions you might be mistaken for assuming he is a genius of stark raving proportions.

1 : The Orange Suit

A Has-mat suit wouldn't be out of place in a laboratory, nuclear power station or chemical factory but in its current setting (a busy high street) it is somewhat conspicuous.

As it moves along visibly distressed onlookers gaze around for an explanation that never comes.

Inside the suit, peering out through the glass the wearer strides confidently onward.

He strides along completely unaware of the unease rippling through the crowds behind him.

For each step taken a tweet is sent, a mobile phone captures video footage of the spectacle, a picture is taken and a question is asked.
By the time he has reached the end of the street panic has erupted and Facebook goes in to meltdown due to the amount of coverage and speculation of what might or might not be happening.

As he steps off the high street the walker's journey catches the attention of the world news networks.

...soon after a telephone ring reverberates down the corridors of 10 Downing Street.

The telephone is dusty and clearly has not been in use in a very long time, at first glance it might appear to be a piece of kitch furniture placed there for some kind of unexplained sentimental reason.

As its rings slowly seep into the consciousness of the building's inhabitants, a wave of disbelief and desperation washes over them.

Suddenly the corridor is full of highly energetic old men and confused secretaries clambering for the phone, knocking and climbing over anything or anyone in their path.

The telephone continues to ring, next to it frozen with fear, the Prime Minister stands with his arm outstretched and trembling.

The room is filled now with the sound of chaos and the telephone still ringing until a voice comes from knee level cries

 “Answer the bloody phone, the bloody phone.. Answer the--”.

Silence breaks out as a shaky hand slowly lifts the receiver, as it does a drawing pin dislodges its self from a poster-board in the adjacent room and crashes to the floor sending a shiver down the spines of this rooms current inhabitants.

The shaky hand's owner takes a deep breath and places the dust encrusted ear-piece to the side of their head, trying to remember if there was a button that needed pressing in order to speak...

Inside the suit
As Albert strides onward a child tugs at the trouser leg of an on looking policewoman, who has broken down in tears at the mere sight of the bright orange suit, having taken a refresher course only three days earlier.
Through the tears she can be heard to mumble the words 'its already too late'.
With in minutes the scene, which was captured by a member of the public, will be broadcast on an impromptu public announcement news flash.

As Albert crosses the road he begins to take note of the distinct lack of traffic on the roads, his ears filled with the jazz that is bouncing around the lining of his brand new has-mat suit, But being that until now traffic has never been of interest he brushes the observation aside and continues to concentrate on the drum solo.

The suit is heavy, much heavier than Albert expected and in retrospect perhaps the lab coat might better have been left at home.

The sun passes behind a solitary cloud briefly as it a curious sight crosses Albert's letter-box view..

**looks in window sees coverage of self on TV**

2 : Amature Arts

Albert has always been a lover of The Arts, ever since his cameo appearance in La Nativité (age 6) where he stole the show with his moving depiction of financial destitute yet generous 'humble Inn-keep'. His performance so compelling that the traditional ending to the play had to be rewritten several times to accommodate the demands of the audience and his ever increasing role in the revised telling of La Nativité.

Albert can often be heard telling this story to the elderly and infirm whilst Bus spotting at his local stop every third Friday of the month.

Most people subjected to this forced story-telling, due to the ever-increasing frequency of service to this particular bus stop, never get to hear it in its entirety. In fact most manage to accidentally hop on the first bus they see, in the hope it might take them far enough away that they might forget his existence entirely. But Albert isn't the kind of character that can be forgotten easily.

“Of course originally I was offered the leading role, due to my superior command of the English language, but the Director felt that one of the more female classmates would be more appropriate for the casting of Mary, which although I must admit I was a little taken aback with at the time I have come to believe it was the right choice. ...although with that said I'm sure I would have done the character of Mary justice.” - Albert begins, despite the fact he has never met the person to whom he is now speaking

 .

The confused a man glances in to his coffee as if it would explain why a complete stranger is now talking to him, or why his bus didn't stop despite his waves. As his eyes slowly raise back to eye level he is greeted with the the most unexpected image his life has thrown at him so far.

His subconscious, completely unable to cope with this unanticipatable sight resorts to basic primal responses... this produces a large smile across his face and a vacant look in his eyes.

“I knew you'd understand... But that's besides the point, let me start at the beginning...”

An unintentional nod occurs as the man's mind, struggles to cope with the horrified faces staring back at him in the rather large crowd standing no more than 30 feet directly behind the man now speaking to him behind the glass-visored suit. His ears start to detect the sound of distant helicopters approaching, all the while the moustached man speaking though a seemingly permanent smile.

“Its all down to preparation you see... the school's curriculum being equally as concerned with giving it's pupils an appreciation for amateur dramatic arts as it is with the dissemination of information in the fields of mathematics and the rudimentary introduction to the beautiful English language.”

Albert begins to recall a fateful childhood memory in embellished detail....

From behind the red curtain an adoring crowd wrestle for prime viewing seating as the parents are informed the actors are now ready to begin the first act of the performance. Albert's Mother can be heard negotiating her right to BYOB loudly with a senior hall monitor briefly before the performance music begins to play.

A forty eight piece Hungarian symphony explodes into Flight of the Bumblebee as a trainee teacher selects the wrong groove on the record, as he corrects his mistake and lowers the volume the startled audience begin to notice an aggressive rippling in the curtains.

The cause of this ripple was due to Albert's last minute repositioning of the set props which would ensure his lines were heard (and more to the point seen) clearly, without obstruction. The most obvious solution as Albert saw it was to reposition The Inn in the centre of stage, displacing all the other set props outwards towards the sides. Teacher, who was off stage revising lines with the other children was completely unaware of this.

As Albert re-assumes his position among the children the correct groove is selected and Teacher ushers the young actors to assume their places, simultaneously the curtains begin to open.

The spot is lit and so too is Albert.  
From within the shadows his co-stars begin utter their lines, it is a full sixteen minutes before Albert's character speaks – until then Albert smiles out in to the crowd, occasionally stopping to tend to his imaginary Inn.

Over the next -sixteen minutes of predictable plot the audience gaze upon The Innkeeper and his temporary accommodation business, they consider high level of detail of paint work put in to the Inn'.

When the time comes for Albert's character to speak he is solemnly sweeping some dried leaves back and forth in front of his Inn above him a newly erected sign, it reads “The managements regret to announce that this premise is due to close due to financial bankruptcy. Your nearest In may be found at __”.

His Co-stars approach on paper maché donkeys clearly confused with the dehydration brought about by their long journey through the desert on paper maché donkey. 
The first of them introduces himself as Joseph and his companion as one Mary... he announces that they have travelled for a number of days and are in need of sleep.
At this point Albert looks upward and begins an impromptu monologue with the audience.

He describes the life of an Inn keep in the year -01BC and the hardships he faces. Stories are told of how he started with nothing, 'just a boy in a little known village' and how through hard work and tough choices he started his own business. 
The little known village grew in to a well known village until one day that village become a city, and with it that little boy became a man. 
A generous and kind man, a man so kind that he would often allow people to stay without board. But alas this policy had lead to his downfall, and the half price Easter Weekend promotions didn't help his finances either.

His upstaged and confounded co-stars begin to ad lib realising all those long hours of rehearsing will be of no use to them from this point on.

Mary begins to haggle stating 'well.. we might be able to find a few coins'. This doesn't go well with the crowd, with one individual among them calling aloud “Freeloader!”.

Joseph attempts to remedy the situation by asking if there was any other way he could help them out, indicating the Mánger set with his eyes.

But Albert responds by offering the man a job stating 'But remember, if you choose to accept the job I still cannot guarantee you somewhere to stay ..as the sign clearly states we have no accommodation. And please don't ask for an advance of your wages, I've been tricked like that before”.

At this point Mary asks how they are expected to read in this day and age, The Innkeeper offers to teach them both how to read and write stating that it would 'help the business' if he decided to take the job.

The Angel Gabriel can be heard taking a tantrum back stage as Albert asks what they've been feeding their donkey as they crossed the desert, all the while tending to his Imaginary Inn. Teacher walks off to calm Gabriel and her nerves with a stiff drink.

From within the crowd Albert's Mother can be seen swigging sherry through a glazed smile as his father's eyes well up, the letter of repossession hidden away in his jacket pocket.

Many of the crowd are moved by the performance despite the seemingly spontaneous plot twist and unfamiliar interpenetration of the play, some put this down the acting some to the new teacher's idea of allowing the children make their own sets. 
Albert's mother begins dispensing drinks among the audience much to the disapproval of the school Vicar.

On stage The Inn towers above the children as they continue to ad lib their lines. 
The donkeys are now tethered to the side and drinking some milk the Innkeeper found for them.

Albert tries dust off his rags as he attempts to find a solution for the couples predicament, stating four viable solutions – all of them rejected by the couple who now seem intent on staying there free of rent.

“Look Mr. Innkeeper, your going to lose the hotel anyway what does it matter to you if you let one more couple stay for free?” Joseph ventures as disgust ripples through the crowd.

A glass bottle narrowly misses Joseph' head as Albert begins his reply, which outlines that he has no less than eight children at home depending on him for sustenance. The Innkeeper then asks what Jewish law states he should do in such a situation where the young carpenter is unable to pay his debts.

Joseph ventured that he is exempt from these laws on account of the fact that he is to be the father-in-law of god which settles the matter.

The three wise children look on from the sides with frustration as The Innkeeper proposes that Joseph joins him (in his employ) bringing his carpentry skills to the inn exclaiming "Come on Joseph, think about it ..together we can re-build. Expand! Make this business great again.. I'm sure together we can make this work, what do you say? ...Partner?”

Joseph to the outrage of the audience declines the more than reasonable offer.

At this point, one of the wise children walked on stage carrying some gold and a camel declaring "I'm sorry I'm early I took a wrong turn at Egypt and ended up here before the star ...anyway, I thought this might come in handy” He presents the gold bar then walks back off stage carrying his camel, adding "When the others arrive tell them to meet me at the other Inn!”

The air is filled with an equal mixture of 'hurrays' and 'boos' as the wise, heavily bearded child exits sight. 
Slowly all eyes in the room return to Albert.

“I'm afraid I can't change this” the innkeeper apolitically advances. “And I'm afraid we are still fully booked right now. The only other feasible space left, is the manger ...but that is being used as a temporary hospice for abandoned or maltreated animals”.

“You have a manger!?! Why didn't you say!? That will do us fine.” Joseph shouts seizing his chance.

“But what of the animals?” Albert questions, with look of shock.  
In the exchange of words that followed Joseph finally persuaded to have the larger of animals to be put out of their misery - paid for by Joseph's new found wealth.

The soon to be mum and dad to be then settled down in the manger, under the supervision of their new landlord...

 

3 : Where There Is Smoke

...The cause of the fire was never established. - There was little left to examine once the flames engulfed the rest of the school leaving little only cinders, ash, and rubble. 
Most reports placed the vicar in the area where it started but ultimately he was unable to shed any light on the mystery blaze.

***unfinished**